Apply Rule #5 and Shut Your Mouth

I went to bed last night with the plan of riding my first metric century this morning.  Come hell or high water, my happy ass was getting on the bike and pedaling until the computer said 62.whatever.  I didn’t care what had to happen…mama had a date with her Surly. 
First thing I noticed was clouds…crap.  Next thing I noticed was the happy little text message from my friend Alan, telling me to “be careful” and “rain heading your way”.  I didn’t care.  Funk dat.  I’m riding a metric century…and the world can kiss my ass today. 
On my way to Lamar School, I pregamed with a little Rage Against the Machine.  By the time I arrived, I was ready to smash some skulls and/or ride my bike.  I put all my crap together and waited for my friend Sean…poor guy agreed to ride with the slowest human on the planet.  Bless it!
And away we went…
I felt pretty good by the time we rolled through Chuckey.  It looked like rain…pretty much from the start…we kept going.  I’m not sure what mile it was when I came to the realization that we were not making it to the car without a fight.  The sky looked pissed.  The wind was howling…of course, we spent 95% of the ride in a headwind.  Here it comes….BIG ASS RAIN DROPS.  I lived in Boone for 4 years and spent a lot of time riding on the parkway in the rain, but this was serious.  The damn sky was falling.  Glasses fogged up.  Water moving across the road.  NO BRAKES.  Freezing.  Water running into my eyes/nose/mouth.  I just laughed.  We were probably 20-30 miles out at this point…nothing to do but pedal and laugh.
The sky eventually had mercy on us and the sun came back out…hot and ready to kick my ass.  By mile 57, I was starting to hurt.  This was my longest ride ever….by 7 miles.  Time to see what my legs had left…for what I THOUGHT would be 5 more miles.
I stood up and punched it for every climb till we got to the car…it hurt so bad.  I just had to know what my legs were capable of at the end of a loooooooooooong ride.  And they worked like magic.  Like freakin’ magic.  I just wanted to see the car.  And eat.  And drink a beer.  Or 12.
I saw Lamar School.  I saw the car.  I laughed.  I sighed.  I laughed some more.  I was STOKED to make it through my longest ride ever.  I laughed some more…
In a week’s time, I’ve managed to accomplish more than I ever thought possible.  I passed my practicals, passed my National Registry paramedic exam, signed up for Pisgah Monster Cross, rode 20+ miles on my mountain bike AND pedaled through 67.5 miles on the road…on a 20+ lb steel framed Surly Crosscheck.  Take that bitches. 
When in doubt, apply rule #5 and shut your mouth…

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